Hey there mama,
How are you?
I mean, not on the surface (like at the grocery store),
How are you?
Moms, we've been through the wringer, huh?
And we have healing to do. Since the beginning of COVID,
mothers have reported:
😩 47% - mental health decline.
🍷29% - drinking more.
🦥 77% - jacked sleeping patterns.
🎪 68% - need for more emotional support.
While most children are back in(side) schools
(extra blessings for those moms who are educating children at home!),
it does not mean our mind/body/spirit have returned to normal
or even *healed* from the trauma of the pandemic
(er, we're still in a pandemic #kickmeright).
Further, if you're sensitive or HSP (highly sensitive person),
your systems require even more healing
because you tend to absorb the stress/energy
around us (that's what makes you so good at reading people!).
I've received a few requests to start a new group
and while I spent the summer relaxing, camping and
nourishing myself (and kiddos) - it's time!
New Group: Now Enrolling! 🥰
This group is called WILD MOMS for the
Sensitive. Intuitive. Fierce.
I invite you to join a 10-week journey.
Together, we will not only heal from pandemic living but:
🦚 connect. heal. nourish. expand.
🦚 learn how to protect yourself from energy vampires.
🦚 reclaim your GLOW (did you know we unconsciously dampen it? let's get it back!)
🦚 learn that your burdens are aren't actually YOURS.
🦚 master your energy. where does it go when you're WITH someone?
This is an intimate group (8 seats). We'll meet on BI in a
lofty open-air barn event space.
#socute #historicalbarn #notweddingseason
💥 sign me up! 💫
The group has already started to fill, so jump in!
I'd LOVE to have you! 🥰🤩😋
Additionally, my practice is currently full.
To get on my priority waitlist for private one-on-one sessions, just email me
(no need to do this if you're already on my calendar).
This group is a wonderful opportunity for support.
In gratitude and love,
hi, Test Bubba,
so...did you get
a little "weird" this past year?
I started seeing the "weird" in myself
while watching netflix and cringing
(even holding my breath)
when I saw anyone touch.
i remember thinking,
"whoa, this is a new reaction."
that was about 9 months ago.
New Yorker comic strip
hits the nail on the head (or toad),
"I EAT FLIES."
i also bought a killer jumper
and it's my favorite wardrobe piece
(pants not needed)!
anyway, wanted to
share this masterpiece comic with you
and share that
I'm starting a new group
* just for moms *
to talk about
and how to heal
because moms have been hit the hardest.
will share more soon...
please take good care.
rooting you on
from my jumper,
The New York Times Article "Three American Mothers On The Brink" Photo by Brenda Ann Kenneally
have taken the
during this pandemic.
Did you read the
New York Times article
The Primal Scream
Three American Mothers
On The Brink?
Did you see Trevor Noah's clip on
America's Childcare Crisis?
I cried because these validate
the madness moms are experiencing
and helps corral our daily life into WORDS.
The shit is IN the fan.
As the shit swirls,
it's so important to
preserve our energy
and receive what we need.
My mantra of late:
How can I do less?
Is this important?
Does it give me life energy?
Does saying NO offer a bigger YES somewhere else?
Can I delegate or just drop?
IT'S OK TO REST.
YOU DESERVE REST
YOU NEED REST.
Do not negotiate by silence.
What fills you up?
Go do it.
Wanna work together for some relief? Book a session!
Rooting you on!
Last weekend's seasonal Winter Workshop was so life-giving. I loved learning Abby Rappoport's teaching on the energetics of WINTER. This cold season is a time of REST so make like a bear and REST.
Is that Jonathan Van Ness with Queer Eye?!
WHY YES IT IS!
He's interviewing the founder,
of Internal Family Systems (IFS),
Dr. Richard Schwartz.
IFS is the most
profound healing modality
I've come across that pulls together
Science, Energy Healing, Soul Healing and
the release of Ancestral Burdens
(i.e. does abuse run in your family?).
Yup, yup. You can heal ALL that.
This shit is the real deal.
Check out these
3 mind-blowing facts:
1. YOU HAVE NO BAD PARTS
2. YOUR SOUL BODY KNOWS HOW TO HEAL
3. YOUR INNER CHILD IS AS REAL AS YOU AND ME
1. YOU HAVE NO BAD PARTS
So many people think that there are parts of ourselves that
are BAD, shameful and just need to scram.
Heck, I did too before I
walked the path of healing.
But here's the real dealio
You Have No Bad Parts
Need to hear it again?
You Have No Bad Parts
ALL PARTS OF YOUR
So much good stuff in this interview.
2. YOUR SOUL BODY KNOWS HOW TO HEAL
This principle is in alignment with 2 other modalities I use:
Hakomi and Brainspotting.
Our souls know how to heal
EVEN THE MOST HORRIFIC
things that have happened to us.
3. YOUR INNER CHILD IS AS REAL AS YOU AND ME
This interview also explains WHY
we find lost child parts in our sessions together
(start around min 18:01).
These lost chid parts are young ones who were so hurt in our youth
they are frozen and STUCK in a different energetic realm or memory.
Our healing path together is to
gather these missing parts
of our SOUL ENERGY,
unburden them and
bring them home.
Interview with Jonathan Van Ness and Dr. Richard Schwartz
To get a taste of Internal Family Systems
I invite you to join me this Saturday
into an exploration of your body's wisdom.
Partnered with Abby Rappoport's delicious
teachings of Medical Qi Gong,
we look forward to a fabulous
Saturday afternoon together.
Please holler with any questions!
I'm happy to answer, offer any resources or books.
I love dorking out about this stuff
because you CAN heal.
It's been awhile since I've sent a note, so dropping into say 3 things:
It's a beautiful day to honor Martin Luther King Jr!
I've been reflecting on what I wish
I knew in my 20's about deep inner work
that I want everyone to know who's on this journey.
When I first started intense therapy,
I went cuz I thought I was
just so EFFED up; how could
it possibly get any worse?!
What did I have to lose?
it was the best choice of my life.
Here's what I've learned that
I'd love to share to those starting
or needing encouragement:
- You're not broken
- It's not your fault.
- Healing hurts like hell but it's so worth it.
- The burdens you carry aren't actually yours. They were heaped onto you.
- You are so deeply loved.
- Your true Self shines so, so brightly.
- You CAN heal. This is not a life-sentence.
I share these thoughts because I know the path of
deep healing can feel hard
and hurt and feel endless.
Deep inner healing is more akin to SEASONS
as the energy and movement unfurls and this is the season of winter.
Season of listening,
To the wisdom
For those craving nourishment and community,
I invite you to a 3-hour seasonal workshop.
to heal, embrace
and open space
When was the last time you did something
yummy for you?
You deserve it!
Medical Qi Gong and Somatic Meridian Practitioner Abby Rappoport
and I are focusing the energy of the
into a healing group practice.
This is the last week to sign up for early bird pricing.
We'd love to have you!
Learn more here about Winter: Honoring the season of wisdom and fear
The next time we chat, I wanna hear
HOW THE HECK YOU GOT THROUGH 2020.
I wanna hear your secrets.
In gratitude, joy, ease and deep winter listening.
I stand in solidarity with Black Lives.
I want to be a part of the change and the deep healing that needs to happen globally, but especially within in the US's oppressive culture. If you are interested in this deep inner work and want to gently look inside to where you may be holding trauma related to racism whether you're white, black, brown, blue or a combo like me, I invite you to simply start by looking inside yourself and your own body. This is deeply personal work AND collective work.
There is so much education available and I've been quite moved by these powerful resources:
My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem and White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo and this electric podcast ON BEING.
Experiences within racism are NOT healed by the mind, or thinking differently, but deeply healed when we find and heal the memory/pain in the body. Our BODIES hold our stories and even the stories 7+ generations back. And we can heal.
Isn't that amazing.
Craving more educational materials? Check out this list and this list and here's a clear cartoon video that explains systemic racism.
Right now, we are in the midst of a global pandemic and the other night, I awoke at 3am and had this sad realization that we are moving quickly toward Social Isolation. As you already know, we are social animals and NEED each other.
I wanted to help.
What could I do to help to create a space to help spread love/connection and bring folks together virtually? What would be fun, easy and healing?
For me too!
So, I got up and started working on a plan and realized - I need help AND it would feel good to do this with others. Hmmmm....wouldn't it be rad to be held by other Therapists:Healers and bring them from behind closed private doors to the forefront, i.e. ONLINE? Wouldn't it be rad to have them also hold space so I too could enjoy their healing as well?
So, I sent an email to a handful of Therapists and asked if they would be willing to donate their time. Then I hit the sack. 4am.
To my delight when I awoke, I had received a month's worth of YESES.
These are YESES to you.
These therapists and healers want to GIFT their time to help heal the world. To each other. To our families. To our community. To the world.
So, I guess we're doing it!
Starting tomorrow, Wednesday at 8pm PT, I will kick off the series with a mindfulness exercise and the following week, I have a killer EMDR Therapist, Brad Galvin LMHC, jumping on board to share his wisdom and healing.
This is an experiment and it will likely evolve over time, but for now, every Wednesday evening at 8pm PT, when our children are in bed (hopefully!), we can come together to create a time to
"HUG" IT OUT."
I'm so game.
Be well and even through this hard time, may rich blessings fall upon you.
I’ve been feeling grinchy this season - full on grinch-mode.
The holidays, decorating, singing (gasp!), and all the planning were a BURDEN. This is sooo not me as I would delight in decking the halls, baking and singing grand carols - in August.
This year, a burden.
So, I asked myself, “What do you need in order to feel Christmas?”
And I heard back, “Dad.”
My Dad died this past March. This is my first Christmas without him and let me share: it’s a mixed bag for me. A part of me feels relief. Big relief. Another part grieves. Many other voices (or parts) come forward too. Overall status: it’s complicated.
Dad was a raging narcissist. Abusive emotionally and abandoned our family over and over again. He blamed others for his behavior and especially his children. I learned this is backassward but carried the idea that, “It was my J-O-B to make sure our relationship was good” well into my adult years until I could deeply learn that it was actually NOT my job. (Making a note to myself to write more about “Parentified Children.”)
A big part of me deeply grieves what I never had. I never had a reliable father growing up. I never had a present father. He was always looking through me: outward and onward. I was never good enough, love-able enough or even worth being around. In fact, my life was a burden. I ached for his presence and caught glimpses of “him” (his soul) in the sweet moments of camping in the forest where he could more easily arrive.
I also have another part of me that grieves and is deeply hurt by what DID happen. The neglect. The abuse. The deep longing for him to love me. This little part of me, my little one, is healing and is home now, back with me in my heart. I now get to take care of her as it’s my joy and honor. (Another post about Fragmented Parts / Soul Loss and Retrieval / Complex Trauma coming soon.)
Me, the Wise Me is full of compassion and gratitude toward Dad. He gave me life, great lessons and ultimately the gift of why I am a Hakomi therapist / healer / energy worker. I learned that I am intuitively led largely BECAUSE of the skills I learned within the trauma: keen awareness, acute spidey senses, and the ability to read people in a split second. I CAN FEEL THEM.
It’s not his fault and I don’t blame him. I mean, yes he did do all those things (or mainly NOT the things I needed) but it was without intention. There was no parenting intention, presence, inward curiosity. As a young boy, dad was raised in a home with massive abuse and as a young father he did the best he could. But he felt trapped in the family he created, and like a bunny, he fled. Over and over again.
In his last weeks of his life at only sixy-eight, he showed remorse by unrestrained tears. Tears of longing. Tears of wanting to do things over. Tears of relief too perhaps from bearing pain so great from the ravaging cancer.
His tears showed me his own deep suffering. Loss. Ache for love. Cavernous loneliness.
When I went to visit him in Las Vegas after nearly 20 years of estrangement, he requested pictures of our past, almost like grasping for anything that was meaningful. Perhaps seeking proof there were fleeting glimpses of love, connection, family. And in-between bouts of crying, when I could see him eye-to eye, he was totally fucking right there. Present.
He taught me big things that cannot be taught without suffering: When we abandon others, we also deeply abandon our own Self.
When we cannot hear others, we cannot hear our Self.
When we cannot see others, we cannot see our Self.
When we judge others, we judge our Self.
Simple hard truths.
In the moments upon asking my Self, “What do you need in order to FEEL Christmas,” and hearing, “Dad,”...
Grief came pouring in, heavy, but with a containment of trust that it will move through.
Then it turned to calm.
And an opening happened where I could feel my heart expand again and the rich loving feeling of Christmas came in: joy, anticipation, love, rest.
So I now turn to you and wonder: if you’re feeling grinchy, melancholy, bleh, or just outright angry this season. So be it.
There’s no “right way” to be, though we are told elsewise.
Just be you.
Fully present in whatever is right there for you.
And perhaps ask your Self, “What do you need?”
Perhaps you’ll find your own gold.
You're not alone!
Here's the delio: you and a million other moms are feeling a flavor of this and it's ok. If we slow down and look a bit deeper, it all makes sense. Here's the gist of what might be going on.
If you look at this list from a neutral place, there's nothing wrong with ANY of these needs, and if they're true - they're TRUE! Even if you feel just ONE of these things, that part of you may be craving RELIEF which screams from roof tops: go back-to-school! Makes sense, right?
Here's the good news: you don't have to struggle in this time and can have relief right now! Here's a simple practice that will rock your world:
I'm not going to talk about #1. Just go do it and then come back here and read about #2. I mean it, go on and fill your cup! You can't love from an empty cup, you just pour sour and bitter. So, please take a moment, 5 minutes of quiet breathing does wonders.
** ** **
I'm assuming you're back from filling your cup and you now have 1) a cup, and 2) it's a little bit full or filled up. Bravo! If not, please go back to step 1.
Presence. So why presence? When you can be fully present with your SELF every day, even just for a few minutes, holy moly, you'll move mountains. It's a simple exercise of deeply knowing your Self.
THIS particular exercise is to be fully present with YOUR CHILD for 10 minutes. Daily. It is important to focus on one child at a time so they can fully be with YOU and soak you up. This is super easy:
If you're caught up in an internal struggle, a Boxing Match of wishing-them-back-to-school vs Feeling Guilty, it's exhausting AND when you look back at your summer, you might fear that you missed everything. If you take little moments of just being with your children, come school-time, you'll look back upon those LITTLE MOMENTS with joy, gratitude, and possibly relief!
Here's another HUGE benefit: your children will feel your Presence so immensely that it will fill their cup too. They'll be so filled up that their Neediness will subside and you'll have more space to do your own thang in peace (your presence calms their system AND yours. Hello magic).
Finally, here's the biggest WIN of all: just being Present with them is more than enough because it tells them really powerful messages about themselves:
You see, just you're PRESENCE gives all of those yummy messages. Just 10 minutes, or even just a couple of minutes if that feels like too much (which is just a friendly way of knowing you need to fill your cup first).
Wishing you deep nourishing presence, and a very happy back to school. :0)
This is me and my daddy-o a long time ago. Those cheeks of mine were always pinched. I can still feel the Chinese elders' fingers who would squeeze them so tight. Grr! For fuck's sake: Don't pinch kids' cheeks! #handstoyourself
It’s my first Father’s Day without Dad. Such a funny day, these holidays. Sweet feelings. Hard feelings. All the in-betweens. It’s AMAZING how we all journey on after Big Things that happen in our lives. But here I am and here we all are. Aren’t we amazing!!! #highfives #grief #wildride #lovewins
And today when I looked up from my garden, I kid you NOT, but saw a rainbow around the sun. WHAT?!!! Yup!! It's called a Sun Halo #thankyougoogle and it's caused by thin cirrus clouds drifting high above your head ablaze with tiny ice crystals in Earth's atmosphere. All this causes light refraction. WHAT?! I call it a wink from Heaven. #thankyoudad
Today I also greatly honor my dear husband: his sweet tender ways with our two girls, his love for great details in all things beautiful, the way he teaches our girls to show their pythons, the way he swirls eggs for breakfast and mostly his constant blazing ways of being totally here for us. We are so very blessed by him daily.
Cheers to you however you land on this Father's Day whether it's a day of joy, sadness, a very fine mix of both, or it's-just-so-very-complicated. Yup. Yup. I hear you. I see you. It's all welcome. However you are today, I honor you for showing up, just as you are. And thank you to Janet for the very #perfecthashtag today. #nailedit